Finding The Path: An Essay

The Sword...

The Sword…

There are so many variables that dictate the outcome of life. There are empty beds, headaches, and lost wages that we take like a pinch, just to know that they are real. There is the everyday pain-and-suffering, the cause onto which we exist – and all those questions that we ask when we know that we already have the answers. There is no medium – only a plane on which we live – and we cannot be too far to the left or too far to the right, so that we can exist.

In either position, it is within our hearts and minds that we must try to understand, to live, and to share what we have learned. For it is beauty that lies in the eye of the beholder; it is sense that we so desire, like respect, to be lost, only to find that we were sleeping. For it is with strangers that we learn our weakness, and in neighbors that we see our strength. With male and female we fail, and know our differences. There is no greater love than love itself. But to know that – to feel that – to exist within it, is not familiar, but estranged.

We cannot express what we desire. We speak what we want and don’t mean what we say. It is those situations that we make it through by the bare skin of our teeth. I cannot remove myself from a feeling – a wish. I had a situation I wish I didn’t, and an existence in which I have no control of. They say that the shortest distance between two points is intention. I say, that it is what is between points A and B -everything else, if it exists, is in between – just something like Atoms, that we can only guess and formulate about. Postulates, theorems they are mere guesstimates; things accepted until we are proven; all wrong. As I said, I try to postulate right and wrong, black and white, neighbor or stranger, and I rise to the same conclusion; existentialism. There it is again, that we can become all those things that we dream of, and can be or cannot be, if it is again. Within the eye of the beholder so much like what we understand as beauty and self.

I believe chief Joseph said. “I will fight no more, forever.” There are at least two views within these words; those of the coward and of those of the strong. It is within the strong that we find our own weakness, and is in those we see as weak do we find our own strength. Two factors are one. We can relate. We do not want to be characterized as such. So I ask you, where will we lay our head and rest? Is it on a comfy pillow or on cement that was just poured?

And I regret not that is stamped into pavement. Look not what past I have done. And those irreplaceable instances, I cannot make time embrace situations that I know I could change. It is not of my heart but my eye which conceives of the future. I cannot predict the smell that encompasses an enemy. It is the wake of my thoughts, the strut of my walk, and the residence of my words that make it sound.

There again, is no greater quote than that of an elder. At last we seek for approval; like possession is only two thirds of the law, it has to be an inhibition, a sequencing to which we follow a path. And leading –is the thing that is talked about in phrases. Following is what we do in stories and dreams. I once dreamt of a leader and a cause. But only when I awoke, did I find followers and reason.

If it is said within the text how one must be – then religion has won and every other thing is rhetoric. It is with teary eyes that men tell the truth. And in breaking homes and broken women that reflect it. There are no truths and no liars that make up a jigsaw puzzle – only pieces that re-create a picture that was destroyed and defaced. We put those pieces together.

It is only in falling that we notice the ground. Only in losing that we recall our wins. It is within flying that we share the earth and in dying that we understand heaven. There is no greater love again, than that spoken, but we who feel that sense of being. Intention. It’s what it’s between points A and B…

JSMatthew~

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